This is it! This is the day I start it. This is my first fucking entry! Holy shit! I’ve never written a blog before so bear with me if this is painful for the first little while. I’m going to try this and see how it goes.
I’m a sex addict. I wish I could say I’m a recovering sex addict but I’m not there yet. I’m a sex addict plain and simple. Every single day is a struggle with some type of sexual compulsion or craving and most days the addict wins. I am on a path to recovery, but it’s a long and painful path and it’s likely going to take an awful lot longer than I like – hence the title My Painful Journey. I will in all likelihood change that title at some point or revisit it.
What is this blog going to be about? Well it’s going to be about me, my struggles and my journey. I’ve learned in therapy that journaling is very helpful and maybe even key to recovery. I think a lot of things are likely to be ‘key’ but that’s a topic for another post. I’m going to tell the world my story, who I am, how I got here and where I’m going (it’s going to be my Wolverine or Deadpool with out the special abilities, ripped physiques and costumes).
This blog is going to be my journal, only it’s not going to be private, it’s going to be public. Don’t worry, or don’t get excited, I am going to change the names of myself, my loved ones and very likely even mask some of the more pertinent details to protect my identity and the identity of others. I am going to publish my daily journal entries, my thoughts and feelings, my anger, my emotions and my boring and mundane events for all to see and read.
I’m also going to sprinkle in more informative posts that contain my backstory and how I got here. I’m even going to put my disclose in here (I think) and let you all read it. – A disclosure is a narrative a sex addict reads out loud to his wife or partner to give her healing and clarity and hopefully help her recover from the PTSD and even they are really lucky, it helps save and repair or rebuild the marriage.
Why am I doing this? Well that’s a good question and I’m still exploring my reasons and motivations. Perhaps it will become clearer later on, if I keep this up, and perhaps my reasons will change and perhaps I will even take this all down in very short order. Who knows, but let’s see how it goes first. In the meantime here is a brief list of my reasons for putting this out there for all to see and read:
– I think it will be kind of fun to put this out in the world.
– I think this blog will help me to make journaling a daily habit, it will help in my recovery and will motivate me.
– Maybe I can make some money off of this, maybe lots of people will read my blog and I can monetize the website or even get a book deal someday.
– Maybe it will help someone else, be it a fellow sex addict or the partner of a sex addict or even a therapist helping other sex addicts.
– Why not do this? (There are probably lots of reasons, let’s explore those later.)
I hope someone reads this and I hope that if they do indeed read it, they get something out of it. So if you are reading this, I hope you enjoy it. I may or may not enable comments, we will see how that goes.
-The Sex Addict