It’s been a while…

It’s been a while since I journaled or posted anything to my blog. I haven’t felt like it. I’ve avoided it. It’s now time to get back into it and resume that self care.
Yesterday I drove down to City for a couple of job interviews. I wasn’t really interested in either of the jobs. Mostly because I don’t want to move back to City. I was depressed and discourage yesterday, I felt sad and without hope.
When I get in those moods that’s when I notice the compulsion and the desire to go back to my coping mechanisms. I was especially craving a massage.
This morning I’m back at home and avoiding getting to the things I need to do. I just don’t want to take care of myself. I prefer to numb out with TV.
I lose hope a lot lately.

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