I feel anxious and overwhelmed. I feel a bit angry and powerless. I feel that my struggles with
MyWife are futile and hopeless. I feel like things are never going to get better.
I feel ashamed. I’m going to send my family disclosure to my cousins and I’m scared to do that. I don’t know what to do with my life.
I feel lost and powerless. I feel like I’m a failure and my life is broken forever. I don’t want to do the work because it’s painful and it is work. But I must do the work if things are ever to get better.
I constantly struggle with whether or not I’m doing this for me or for
MyWife. I’m doing it for both.
I’d like to give up and quit but that’s a coward’s way out, and even though I’m a coward, that’s not the way I want to be. Step work is hard. Recovery is hard. Asking for help is hard. I’m proud and that hurt me.
I want God’s help but I struggle to even believe at times.
I just meditated, I think it helped a little bit.
I love my wife but why do I struggle to do what is right by her? Why do I struggle to let myself be known and to show myself to others.
Oh Lord please help me and give me strength and fill me with your love.