So maybe not actually the first draft, but a draft. They say you can’t heal without doing a disclosure, nor will your marriage ever heal. I hope they are right, but I don’t see how my marriage will ever heal after she hears all this. There’s just so much, it’s such an insane amount and […]Read more "First Draft of My Disclosure"
And I am doing better, but I still have a very, very long way to go. My Answers in the Heart – May 9th – mediation this morning talk about a couple of things that hit close to home. Self absorption, sluggishness in the morning, wanting to live forever. Vision narrowing until it was only about […]Read more "I thought I was doing better…"
And loneliness… and other things. When I talked to my coach this morning, before my last post. We talked about how I hadn’t been eating that well over the weekend, how I hadn’t been practicing good self care. How I was struggling with motivation. He mentioned that since it’s been almost two week without that […]Read more "It really is withdrawl ( a little explicit or vulgar )"
I can’t seem to get up and do anything. I’m really struggling today. I just keep thinking everything over in my head but not actually doing anything. I’m craving masturbation. I want to act out. I’ve been doing a bit of edging which isn’t too healthy. I have lots to do, but I don’t want […]Read more "Is this withdrawal?"
Not feeling great about myself or life. I don’t have great power of will and I’m not awesome at sticking to things. I’ve noticed that towards the end of last week and over the weekend that I got lazy and my self care trailed off, my motivation trailed off and I watched a lot of […]Read more "New Week… no motivation this morning"
Where does motivation go? Why is conflict and confrontation difficult? Why do I avoid? I’m feeling a bit lonely and sluggish this morning. Could have been I stayed up too late watching the hockey last night. Also could have been that one of my dogs was very annoying and antsy very, very early this morning. […]Read more "Lonely Saturday"
I am learning to be patient and to persevere in a world that was not constructed just for me and my pleasures. – Answers in the Heart, May 5th Father, thank You for Your plans for us, and for the future that awaits us in Your love. – Our Daily Bread, May 5th Heavenly Father, […]Read more "Big Day Today"
I woke up, scratch that, got up, later than I would have like this morning. I was awake at 5:30/6:00 but I went back to sleep until the second set of alarms went off at 7:00. Even then I continued to hit snooze until almost 7:30. Why do I seem to lack the will power […]Read more "Thursday, May 4th (brief explicit themes)"
I think it’s because we have a choice. If you are interested in something from a religious perspective, this might be helpful. I’m just relearning faith, and I’m not sure I get this entirely yet, this document that is, but I think it makes sense and it builds a lot on what Friend shared about his […]Read more "Why is there Pain and Suffering?"
Let’s recap my goals for today: Do a yoga video. – Yes Call Coach. – Yes Meet Friend. – Yes, really glad I did Possible Interview. – No, but that wasn’t in my control Work on Health Insurance Claims. – No Work on Disclosure and First Step. No Meeting with group at Church tonight. – […]Read more "How did I do today?"