I thought this was supposed to be getting easier. It’s not. I had though that knowing more about all of this would help. It hasn’t. I thought I would be doing better, but I’m not. Addiction, or at least sex addiction is lonely. The opposite of addiction is supposed to be connection. Why is connection […]Read more "I need to brush my teeth…"
Originally posted on The Secrets of Addiction:
I’m struggling to narrow down all of my thoughts into a single topic. I’ve been to five meetings in seven days. The learning curve in the first parts of recovery is pretty steep. There is a lot of information available, once you can finally admit to yourself that…
So I’m back in CityX for two days. I came down for a job interview today and I also had to arrange some community service hours with the court and I have to meet with my probation officer tomorrow. (In case you haven’t been following, I was arrested for soliciting prostitution, which is how I […]Read more "Back in CityX… Old Temptations Arise"
So maybe not actually the first draft, but a draft. They say you can’t heal without doing a disclosure, nor will your marriage ever heal. I hope they are right, but I don’t see how my marriage will ever heal after she hears all this. There’s just so much, it’s such an insane amount and […]Read more "First Draft of My Disclosure"
And I am doing better, but I still have a very, very long way to go. My Answers in the Heart – May 9th – mediation this morning talk about a couple of things that hit close to home. Self absorption, sluggishness in the morning, wanting to live forever. Vision narrowing until it was only about […]Read more "I thought I was doing better…"
And loneliness… and other things. When I talked to my coach this morning, before my last post. We talked about how I hadn’t been eating that well over the weekend, how I hadn’t been practicing good self care. How I was struggling with motivation. He mentioned that since it’s been almost two week without that […]Read more "It really is withdrawl ( a little explicit or vulgar )"
I can’t seem to get up and do anything. I’m really struggling today. I just keep thinking everything over in my head but not actually doing anything. I’m craving masturbation. I want to act out. I’ve been doing a bit of edging which isn’t too healthy. I have lots to do, but I don’t want […]Read more "Is this withdrawal?"