Today

I feel anxious and overwhelmed. I feel a bit angry and powerless. I feel that my struggles with MyWife are futile and hopeless. I feel like things are never going to get better. I feel ashamed. I’m going to send my family disclosure to my cousins and I’m scared to do that. I don’t know […]

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Hello God

I recently started reading Abba’s Child by Brennan Manning.  It was recommended to me by the pastor of a church I’ve been attending recently.  I don’t know why, but I find this kind of stuff so hard to read.  I can read a good fiction book like something by James Rollins or Steve Berry in as […]

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I Did My Disclosure Today…

I guess what I can say about it is that it wasn’t as bad as I thought.  It was painful and shameful.  Terrifying and nerve wracking but my wife didn’t get up and run out of there screaming.  She did’t look at me with disgust.  She didn’t even get angry. I am scared that she […]

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First Draft of My Disclosure

So maybe not actually the first draft, but a draft.  They say you can’t heal without doing a disclosure, nor will your marriage ever heal.  I hope they are right, but I don’t see how my marriage will ever heal after she hears all this.  There’s just so much, it’s such an insane amount and […]

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Lonely Saturday

Where does motivation go? Why is conflict and confrontation difficult? Why do I avoid? I’m feeling a bit lonely and sluggish this morning. Could have been I stayed up too late watching the hockey last night. Also could have been that one of my dogs was very annoying and antsy very, very early this morning. […]

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Again!

I just thought about looking at CL ads again. Maybe because there’s what looks like a cute Asian girl in the lobby… I’m telling my controlling child that I don’t need to do that or look at porn to deal with that.

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MyWife

So this is my apartment too. My name is on the lease. I paid for the fucking place. I don’t care whether it’s morally right or not, I have a fucking legal right to be here. Some women would have kicked their husbands out on the street, says HerTherapist, some men would have cut their […]

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So…

Just saw a couple of attractive women running on the trail, noticed a nipple or two and I just said to myself “aw fuck it lets just jerk of today” I’m thinking this way because I just saw FormerFriend?, an old/former friend and that brought up some pain. This whole morning seems kind of painful.

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