I feel anxious and overwhelmed. I feel a bit angry and powerless. I feel that my struggles with MyWife are futile and hopeless. I feel like things are never going to get better. I feel ashamed. I’m going to send my family disclosure to my cousins and I’m scared to do that. I don’t know […]Read more "Today"
I guess what I can say about it is that it wasn’t as bad as I thought. It was painful and shameful. Terrifying and nerve wracking but my wife didn’t get up and run out of there screaming. She did’t look at me with disgust. She didn’t even get angry. I am scared that she […]Read more "I Did My Disclosure Today…"
So I’m back in CityX for two days. I came down for a job interview today and I also had to arrange some community service hours with the court and I have to meet with my probation officer tomorrow. (In case you haven’t been following, I was arrested for soliciting prostitution, which is how I […]Read more "Back in CityX… Old Temptations Arise"
And I am doing better, but I still have a very, very long way to go. My Answers in the Heart – May 9th – mediation this morning talk about a couple of things that hit close to home. Self absorption, sluggishness in the morning, wanting to live forever. Vision narrowing until it was only about […]Read more "I thought I was doing better…"
And loneliness… and other things. When I talked to my coach this morning, before my last post. We talked about how I hadn’t been eating that well over the weekend, how I hadn’t been practicing good self care. How I was struggling with motivation. He mentioned that since it’s been almost two week without that […]Read more "It really is withdrawl ( a little explicit or vulgar )"
I can’t seem to get up and do anything. I’m really struggling today. I just keep thinking everything over in my head but not actually doing anything. I’m craving masturbation. I want to act out. I’ve been doing a bit of edging which isn’t too healthy. I have lots to do, but I don’t want […]Read more "Is this withdrawal?"